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See Yourself As Others See You

Which of your personal qualities influence your listeners to embrace your point of view and take advantage of the benefits you have to offer? How are you showcasing those qualities when you deliver a message?

Answering these questions isn’t easy. However, it’s important to recognize what it is about you personally that helps you connect with your listeners.

For some insight into how others see you, try this exercise.

First, think of someone you regard as an effective communicator. List the qualities that draw you to listen to this individual.

From young professionals to seasoned executives, when we ask them to do this, their descriptors often include: confident, authentic, knowledgeable, clear, concise, engaging, honest, and has “presence”.

Now develop an inventory of 5 to 10 of your own positive qualities. Would you include any of the above qualities on your list?

The next challenge is to see how you showcase those qualities. You’ll need to watch some video of yourself.

I could hear the chorus of groans. If you’re like many of us, you don’t enjoy watching yourself. In fact, one of our seminar participants labeled her first set of videos “cringe-worthy” before she even looked at them. Although once she viewed them, she found that she looked better than she thought.

Record a video of yourself next time you rehearse for an important meeting. Better yet, if it’s appropriate, video yourself speaking in a meeting.

Study your videos. Identify the behaviors that demonstrate your positive qualities.

This self-critique isn’t enough. Ask someone you trust to review your videos and give you straightforward feedback. Determine which behaviors send a positive message and which ones are distracting your listeners.

Armed with the results of this assessment, you’ll have a heightened awareness of your own natural communications style and what motivates your listeners to make a link with you and your point of view.